Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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