Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
