dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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