Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
