careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
