What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
