She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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