party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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