Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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