She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
