We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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