i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
