I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize