youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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