Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
