I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
