this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
