summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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