Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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