butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Randomize