dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
