so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
