he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize