you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
