We're like a lot better than the average bears
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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