The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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