I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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