he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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