i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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