i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just found puke in my bra..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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