do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This is my gift to your gina
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
