oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
