Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
