Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The ass gains better be worth it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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