He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
