I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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