you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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