Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
