White coat. Heels.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
