So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
