But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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