we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
