remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
