ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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