Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
