So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just high enough for therapy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
