i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
