shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
