me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
