she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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