Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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