yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize