And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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