Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
