She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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