I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize