They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
