What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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