is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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