Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
